When the kids are out of school and on THEIR vacation…it is no vacation for us! A better summer plan is needed for the sake of everyone !

How do we do it when:  (1)  there isn’t much money for a vacation (2) there is very little time as everyone’s schedule is different (3) no one can agree on anything.

JUST DO IT !  and join a supportive group who will encourage and support you in making your summer a good one.*

* an unabashed plug for our girls’ group:

“Girls, We Can Do This..Together” (see home page of my website)

     Am I stressed?                                                   YES                  NO

     Do I worry too much?                                    YES                  NO

     Do I have trouble sleeping?                         YES                   NO

     Do I take things too personally?               YES                    NO

     Do I want more time for me and less time helping everyone else? 

                                                                                     YES                    NO

     Do I need to learn how to say “no”?         YES                    NO

     Do I want more of a social life?                 YES                     NO

     Do I get upset at little things?                   YES                     NO

     Do I want to be more clear about my direction and goals?  

                                                                                  YES                      NO

If you answered YES on 4 or more you need to join our “Girls, We Can Do This- Together”  Summer Support Group.*  We will meet 7 times this summer – on Monday nights from 7-8 pm and the first one is FREE.

* See  my flyer under NEW CLASSES or call me at 253-941-2124.

I accept that stress is a part of our lives and, at the same time, I can learn to minimize it and respond differently to it:  I often “wear stress as a coat” and take it off as soon as I can instead of taking it in–internalizing it–and making it “mine”.  I didn’t always know how to do this.  Stress used to do a number on me ! Thank you, Dr Bernie Siegel for teaching me a better and different way to think and act !

Your body is stressed because your mind is stressed.  Your body does only what it is told…by your mind.  When your mind is focused on the stress, then your body has to follow the dictates of the mind.  Your body is not in charge–your mind is.  The subconsious part of the mind really has the control switch.  What we think, say and do is very important because the body will just go along.

We live in stressful environments–at work, home and in our society, but we can thrive and be well-adjusted if we know how to cope and deal with these stressors.  Our mind can be taught how to be in control of these stressors.  How important is our mind in the healing of our body?  On a scale of 1 to 10 –it is a 10!

PS:  Our mind is not our brain–our mind is in every cell of our body !   (More to come on this controversial subject)

(1)  Change or REFRAME your view of the tax task: divide into smaller pieces of work…spread out over longer periods of time…and have small rewards along the way with a big reward at the conclusion.  Quit thinking or saying “I HATE” ..(paying bills, working on my taxes, keeping records, etc).. You are what you think and if you can be more positive about negative tasks you will have a more positive experience along the way with a better result….even when you work on your taxes !

(2)  Divide your tasks (taxes, bills, organizing your office, etc.) into two categories:    BORING    (You can work on this and watch  two or three movies..thus enjoying yourself while you do the no-brainer tasks) and IMPORTANT NO INTERRUPTION I NEED TO THINK time (soft music in the background with your focus on your task at hand.) Suggestion:  Don’t be afraid to ask for assistance with whatever you are doing…if you are getting frustrated, stop and/or ask for help…or come back to it later.

(3)  Be grateful about the little things, as well as the big ones, as we tend to focus on WHAT  IS GOING WRONG OR WHAT IS NOT RIGHT IN OUR LIFE (thus becoming a victim and thinking “this will never work” or “I never get the breaks other people get”)…a lot of people are looking around and thinking most people are better off than we are….not true…check out what you have and focus on WHAT IS RIGHT !

These 3 sugggestions are simple solutions but they work…I won’t say it will be easy to do every day..throughout the day…but try it, you may like it and you may find, at the end of the tax season, you have a smile on your face…now treat yourself to a big reward (a trip to the ocean???). YES !

I am writing this  at the beginning of 2010 because I realize that I had too many “blurs” in my life as I think back on it. I just don’t remember  consciously, however, since my subconscious remembers everything and never sleeps, it is still inside somewhere.  I don’t want the rest of my life to be a blur so I realize I have to be more consciously aware of what I am thinking, saying and doing.

Several months ago I made a decision never to hurry.  I am an active person but I don’t need to rush or hurry anywhere because if I do …it means I am wanting to rush past this present moment–not giving any importance to it–and hurrying into the next (more important moment ?). I don’t want to live my life that way….so…

This is how I have helped myself NOT hurry through my busy life: (1) I enjoy the feeling of being early rather than late so I think myself 30 minutes ahead of the deadline. (2)  I watch how I am breathing and deliberately take 4 or 5 slow, deep breaths and watch to see what color is in front of my eyes…black, brown or grey are stress colors. (3) I started by playing a game …now it isn’t a game but a part of my reality to listen and notice as much as I can–only taking in what I want to remember and filtering out the rest. (4) I am journaling or writing every day to preserve those special moments that we think we will always remember but we find they become part of the blur when the good, bad and ugly gets mixed in with it.(5) I meditate..I don’t even have to close my eyes every time…just clear and clean and check what it is I am thinking.

May you have a peaceful, interesting, fulfilling, eventful, challenging, beautiful, inspiring, and meaningful life without rushing or hurrying through it.  Savor it…it is too short as it is.

(2) We often “unintentionally set up” our stress whenever we are running late, when we forget to make an important phone call, when we worry, when we find that we haven’t adequately prepared for a meeting.  I find that there is much stress in relationships when there is a lack of communication (meeting time, place detail not clear or not discussed).  A big “setup” is when we need sleep, food, feel overwhelmed, or are off balance with work/home/social, etc.  We tend to do these stressful things to ourselves over and over and often blame others when we are unconsciously setting ourselves up to be stressed. We need to give ourselves time, at the start of each day or at night in preparing for the next day, to have a plan and to think of important details that we may not remember or think of when we are stressed.  Remember, our Mind  does not function well when it has Blocked Energy (fearful), Scattered Energy (stressed, confused, overwhelmed) or Negative Energy (irritated, frustrated, resentful, bitter, angry).  It only functions well when it has Positive Energy, is at peace and feels good (even if it is in the moment).

(3) Our Mind (subconscious) loves to create and remembers everything we have ever seen, heard, and experienced.  It loves to imagine and focus on what is real and important.  A stressful Mind can’t do any of these as it is too wrapped up in problems:  problems are like thick rope, wrapped all around you–tying you up and creating a helpless, hopeless view of life–you and your problems are, reluctantly, one.  However, our Mind wants to resolve these problems – - not get wrapped up in them.  Our Mind is creative and imaginative and wise if we will allow it to be free of the problems in order to cope and deal with them in a healthy way.  Our Mind wants freedom and resolution.  In order for this to happen, we need to step back and be the “observer”.  When we learn how to put stressors (problems) outside of ourselves instead of taking them in and making them all about us, we are able to think and act in a clear, less reactive, less stressful manner.  We are teaching ourselves how to be less stressed–even in stressful situations. “The person who is the least anxious has the most influence in any situation”. (Edwin Friedman)  Make a decision to learn, practice, and have a less stressful Mind/body for 2010 and for the rest of your life..and may it be a long, fulfilling one!

Roberta Macdonald

Some of the benefits of attending this workshop are:

*  Be able to handle stress without internalizing it

* Learn new ways to solve old problems that cause stress

* Find release from the clutter, chaos and conflicts

* Be uplifted from the positive energy environment

* Enjoyable and meaningful interactions

* Support from like-minded people wanting change

* Inspiring and motivating information and tools

Hope you can join me on Tuesday,  November 17th.  I will be your Instructor/Facilitator.

Roberta

So NOW (before we are eating our Thanksgiving meal)… NOW is the time to think about how we can make it easier on us this year….2009…a new pattern of behavior which will be a blessing and benefit to you and yours.

Here are some ways to bless and benefit yourself during the Holidays:

(1)  Before you commit to the big meal where you tend to do EVERYTHING and you find resentment has built up over the years but you don’t know how to get out of your obligatory role…say no this year or ask for assistance by delegating. What a concept…delegating!

(2) Have a Holiday Plan starting NOW:  Plan out the next two months and divide the chores, events, activities in smaller “pieces”.  Put YOU into your daily plan and make sure you are able to enjoy YOU as you “do” your life.

(3) Ask yourself: “Why do I take on so much each year? Here are some possible reasons you might want to explore:

* Everyone expects me to…they can count on me.

* I know that I really do it better than anyone else.

* We have family traditions…I can’t change them.

* What would they say if  I changed it?

(4) Ponder this:  The very best thing you can do for the whole world is to make the most of yourself and that may mean saying  no to others so that the very best you can happen. You are then better able to give without resentment.

More to come on this subject. I welcome your questions and comments.

-Roberta