Roberta Macdonald

What does that mean?  How do you go the distance from upset to joy in three minutes? It isn’t easy but it is simple and you can do it.  If it takes a long time to get over an upset and you tend to take things too personally you will want to try this. Try practicing the art of  ”placing the problem outside of yourself”: put it on the “shelf”, write about it in a journal, and make it as small as you can (like a grain of sand).  

Going the distance from upset to joy is something to be  practiced (training yourself to get better and better as you practice).  You need:  (1) the awareness when you are getting upset and beginning to react to someone  or something; (2) realize that you have had many upsets in your lifetime and most have worked out…resolved later…and this upset, too, shall pass.  You really don’t want to waste any valuable time being unhappy, do you? (3) Know that when you have scattered or negative energy, no one wants to be around you (you don’t want to be around you!) so you need to change to positive energy.  (4)  Teach yourself to breathe in a beautiful color very slowly and deeply until your chest and stomache are relaxed.  You will be surprised that a smile is (almost) on your face and when you think of something or someone you love…and 3 minutes later…it is there: Joy.

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(1) Stress may be all around you: coming from our TV, our job, commuting on the busy freeways, computer problems, sick family member, an angry neighbor, stressful phone calls,  too much technology and electronic imput into our nervous system, etc.  We choose everyday if we want to bring these stressors into our Mind/body.  Our Mind is very capable of shutting “the door” (a conscious decision to filter out the stress of negative stimuli), it just needs to be trained and practiced.  The body does what the Mind dictates. (Mind: “I am relaxed and feel free of stress in this moment”. Body: “Okay”.  Mind: “I am depressed”. Body: “Okay”.)

(2) We often “unintentionally set up” our stress whenever we are running late, when we forget to make an important phone call, when we worry, when we find that we haven’t adequately prepared for a meeting.  I find that there is much stress in relationships when there is a lack of communication (meeting time, place detail not clear or not discussed).  A big “setup” is when we need sleep, food, feel overwhelmed, or are off balance with work/home/social, etc.  We tend to do these stressful things to ourselves over and over and often blame others when we are unconsciously setting ourselves up to be stressed. We need to give ourselves time, at the start of each day or at night in preparing for the next day, to have a plan and to think of important details that we may not remember or think of when we are stressed.  Remember, our Mind  does not function well when it has Blocked Energy (fearful), Scattered Energy (stressed, confused, overwhelmed) or Negative Energy (irritated, frustrated, resentful, bitter, angry).  It only functions well when it has Positive Energy, is at peace and feels good (even if it is in the moment).

(3) Our Mind (subconscious) loves to create and remembers everything we have ever seen, heard, and experienced.  It loves to imagine and focus on what is real and important.  A stressful Mind can’t do any of these as it is too wrapped up in problems:  problems are like thick rope, wrapped all around you–tying you up and creating a helpless, hopeless view of life–you and your problems are, reluctantly, one.  However, our Mind wants to resolve these problems – - not get wrapped up in them.  Our Mind is creative and imaginative and wise if we will allow it to be free of the problems in order to cope and deal with them in a healthy way.  Our Mind wants freedom and resolution.  In order for this to happen, we need to step back and be the “observer”.  When we learn how to put stressors (problems) outside of ourselves instead of taking them in and making them all about us, we are able to think and act in a clear, less reactive, less stressful manner.  We are teaching ourselves how to be less stressed–even in stressful situations. “The person who is the least anxious has the most influence in any situation”. (Edwin Friedman)  Make a decision to learn, practice, and have a less stressful Mind/body for 2010 and for the rest of your life..and may it be a long, fulfilling one!

Roberta Macdonald

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