I accept that stress is a part of our lives and, at the same time, I can learn to minimize it and respond differently to it:  I often “wear stress as a coat” and take it off as soon as I can instead of taking it in–internalizing it–and making it “mine”.  I didn’t always know how to do this.  Stress used to do a number on me ! Thank you, Dr Bernie Siegel for teaching me a better and different way to think and act !

Your body is stressed because your mind is stressed.  Your body does only what it is told…by your mind.  When your mind is focused on the stress, then your body has to follow the dictates of the mind.  Your body is not in charge–your mind is.  The subconsious part of the mind really has the control switch.  What we think, say and do is very important because the body will just go along.

We live in stressful environments–at work, home and in our society, but we can thrive and be well-adjusted if we know how to cope and deal with these stressors.  Our mind can be taught how to be in control of these stressors.  How important is our mind in the healing of our body?  On a scale of 1 to 10 –it is a 10!

PS:  Our mind is not our brain–our mind is in every cell of our body !   (More to come on this controversial subject)

I am writing this  at the beginning of 2010 because I realize that I had too many “blurs” in my life as I think back on it. I just don’t remember  consciously, however, since my subconscious remembers everything and never sleeps, it is still inside somewhere.  I don’t want the rest of my life to be a blur so I realize I have to be more consciously aware of what I am thinking, saying and doing.

Several months ago I made a decision never to hurry.  I am an active person but I don’t need to rush or hurry anywhere because if I do …it means I am wanting to rush past this present moment–not giving any importance to it–and hurrying into the next (more important moment ?). I don’t want to live my life that way….so…

This is how I have helped myself NOT hurry through my busy life: (1) I enjoy the feeling of being early rather than late so I think myself 30 minutes ahead of the deadline. (2)  I watch how I am breathing and deliberately take 4 or 5 slow, deep breaths and watch to see what color is in front of my eyes…black, brown or grey are stress colors. (3) I started by playing a game …now it isn’t a game but a part of my reality to listen and notice as much as I can–only taking in what I want to remember and filtering out the rest. (4) I am journaling or writing every day to preserve those special moments that we think we will always remember but we find they become part of the blur when the good, bad and ugly gets mixed in with it.(5) I meditate..I don’t even have to close my eyes every time…just clear and clean and check what it is I am thinking.

May you have a peaceful, interesting, fulfilling, eventful, challenging, beautiful, inspiring, and meaningful life without rushing or hurrying through it.  Savor it…it is too short as it is.

(2) We often “unintentionally set up” our stress whenever we are running late, when we forget to make an important phone call, when we worry, when we find that we haven’t adequately prepared for a meeting.  I find that there is much stress in relationships when there is a lack of communication (meeting time, place detail not clear or not discussed).  A big “setup” is when we need sleep, food, feel overwhelmed, or are off balance with work/home/social, etc.  We tend to do these stressful things to ourselves over and over and often blame others when we are unconsciously setting ourselves up to be stressed. We need to give ourselves time, at the start of each day or at night in preparing for the next day, to have a plan and to think of important details that we may not remember or think of when we are stressed.  Remember, our Mind  does not function well when it has Blocked Energy (fearful), Scattered Energy (stressed, confused, overwhelmed) or Negative Energy (irritated, frustrated, resentful, bitter, angry).  It only functions well when it has Positive Energy, is at peace and feels good (even if it is in the moment).

(3) Our Mind (subconscious) loves to create and remembers everything we have ever seen, heard, and experienced.  It loves to imagine and focus on what is real and important.  A stressful Mind can’t do any of these as it is too wrapped up in problems:  problems are like thick rope, wrapped all around you–tying you up and creating a helpless, hopeless view of life–you and your problems are, reluctantly, one.  However, our Mind wants to resolve these problems – - not get wrapped up in them.  Our Mind is creative and imaginative and wise if we will allow it to be free of the problems in order to cope and deal with them in a healthy way.  Our Mind wants freedom and resolution.  In order for this to happen, we need to step back and be the “observer”.  When we learn how to put stressors (problems) outside of ourselves instead of taking them in and making them all about us, we are able to think and act in a clear, less reactive, less stressful manner.  We are teaching ourselves how to be less stressed–even in stressful situations. “The person who is the least anxious has the most influence in any situation”. (Edwin Friedman)  Make a decision to learn, practice, and have a less stressful Mind/body for 2010 and for the rest of your life..and may it be a long, fulfilling one!

Roberta Macdonald