Roberta Macdonald

Anger and Stress Management

What’s the Rush?

March 18, 2010 By: Roberta Category: Stress Management, Stress Solutions

Are you late because of your desire to get as much done as you can in a short period of time? What are the results?  When we are late, hurry off and don’t think through what we are doing….we know we are setting our self up to….(choose one or more):   (1)  Fail miserably  (2)  stress out with an anxiety attack or find we are shallow breathing or holding our breath (3) hurt ourselves—stub our toe, bump into something, stumble and fall (4) appear out of breath and scattered –which is the truth. (5) Look back on the day and realize it was a blur…remembering only the obvious but not the small, insignificant but important parts of our life.

I am writing this  at the beginning of 2010 because I realize that I had too many “blurs” in my life as I think back on it. I just don’t remember  consciously, however, since my subconscious remembers everything and never sleeps, it is still inside somewhere.  I don’t want the rest of my life to be a blur so I realize I have to be more consciously aware of what I am thinking, saying and doing.

Several months ago I made a decision never to hurry.  I am an active person but I don’t need to rush or hurry anywhere because if I do …it means I am wanting to rush past this present moment–not giving any importance to it–and hurrying into the next (more important moment ?). I don’t want to live my life that way….so…

This is how I have helped myself NOT hurry through my busy life: (1) I enjoy the feeling of being early rather than late so I think myself 30 minutes ahead of the deadline. (2)  I watch how I am breathing and deliberately take 4 or 5 slow, deep breaths and watch to see what color is in front of my eyes…black, brown or grey are stress colors. (3) I started by playing a game …now it isn’t a game but a part of my reality to listen and notice as much as I can–only taking in what I want to remember and filtering out the rest. (4) I am journaling or writing every day to preserve those special moments that we think we will always remember but we find they become part of the blur when the good, bad and ugly gets mixed in with it.(5) I meditate..I don’t even have to close my eyes every time…just clear and clean and check what it is I am thinking.

May you have a peaceful, interesting, fulfilling, eventful, challenging, beautiful, inspiring, and meaningful life without rushing or hurrying through it.  Savor it…it is too short as it is.

3 Tips to Ease a Stressful Mind/Body

January 17, 2010 By: Roberta Category: Stress Management, Stress Solutions

(1) Stress may be all around you: coming from our TV, our job, commuting on the busy freeways, computer problems, sick family member, an angry neighbor, stressful phone calls,  too much technology and electronic imput into our nervous system, etc.  We choose everyday if we want to bring these stressors into our Mind/body.  Our Mind is very capable of shutting “the door” (a conscious decision to filter out the stress of negative stimuli), it just needs to be trained and practiced.  The body does what the Mind dictates. (Mind: “I am relaxed and feel free of stress in this moment”. Body: “Okay”.  Mind: “I am depressed”. Body: “Okay”.)

(2) We often “unintentionally set up” our stress whenever we are running late, when we forget to make an important phone call, when we worry, when we find that we haven’t adequately prepared for a meeting.  I find that there is much stress in relationships when there is a lack of communication (meeting time, place detail not clear or not discussed).  A big “setup” is when we need sleep, food, feel overwhelmed, or are off balance with work/home/social, etc.  We tend to do these stressful things to ourselves over and over and often blame others when we are unconsciously setting ourselves up to be stressed. We need to give ourselves time, at the start of each day or at night in preparing for the next day, to have a plan and to think of important details that we may not remember or think of when we are stressed.  Remember, our Mind  does not function well when it has Blocked Energy (fearful), Scattered Energy (stressed, confused, overwhelmed) or Negative Energy (irritated, frustrated, resentful, bitter, angry).  It only functions well when it has Positive Energy, is at peace and feels good (even if it is in the moment).

(3) Our Mind (subconscious) loves to create and remembers everything we have ever seen, heard, and experienced.  It loves to imagine and focus on what is real and important.  A stressful Mind can’t do any of these as it is too wrapped up in problems:  problems are like thick rope, wrapped all around you–tying you up and creating a helpless, hopeless view of life–you and your problems are, reluctantly, one.  However, our Mind wants to resolve these problems – - not get wrapped up in them.  Our Mind is creative and imaginative and wise if we will allow it to be free of the problems in order to cope and deal with them in a healthy way.  Our Mind wants freedom and resolution.  In order for this to happen, we need to step back and be the “observer”.  When we learn how to put stressors (problems) outside of ourselves instead of taking them in and making them all about us, we are able to think and act in a clear, less reactive, less stressful manner.  We are teaching ourselves how to be less stressed–even in stressful situations. “The person who is the least anxious has the most influence in any situation”. (Edwin Friedman)  Make a decision to learn, practice, and have a less stressful Mind/body for 2010 and for the rest of your life..and may it be a long, fulfilling one!

Roberta Macdonald

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