Use Your Words

Use Your Words

by | Sep 10, 2019 | Communication, Parent success

Use Your Words

Parents:  Encourage your young children to “Use your words”!

A very young child who can’t talk babbles. The child is trying to talk. It is my firm belief we need to talk back with real, understandable words. We may not know how much they comprehend yet we need to talk as if they understand what we are saying.

Your little ones are probably frustrated that he or she cannot be understood. When you talk back with them, they learn quickly.

A wise parent will encourage the babbling and talk back with real words so that the child will hear them and sooner or later use them. 

Have you seen the entertaining videos where children are engaging in a conversation by babbling with intonations and even hand gestures? They are adorable, entertaining and provide an endearing response from others.

I would like to take this deeper and give you the reasons why I encourage you to take it a step farther and begin using real words when they are “talking” to you. 


5 Reasons why words are so important:

  1. Your children need to be heard and understood at an early age;
  2. They need to learn how to dialogue, to question and to be given options so they can learn how to make good decisions;
  3. Your children will soon start talking and learning words. They will go to preschool, kindergarten, elementary school, junior and high school and advanced learning. They will expand their vocabularies.  And then what?  How important will words and learning be later? Will they engage in meaningful conversations? Will they have critical minds? Will they read books and comprehend them?
  4. Children need to know that words, spelling, grammar, complete sentences and critical thinking are very important to advancing our language and our culture. If we don’t respect our language and its history we will lose it.
  5. We want our children to be intelligent. We want them to never stop   Our language is not meant to be minimized, tainted, or altered by shortcuts and one word answers. Our language needs to be expanded!

Parents:  Challenge your children:

  • Learn a new word every day; Dialogue with them every day;
  • Read every day. Teach your children why we need to learn;
  • Help your children to use not lose their words. Help Save Our Words!
  • Talk with your baby!

Below are three videos I want to share with you!
Two are humorous, one is quite informative.
Please share others that you find with me in the Facebook Parent Success Group!

Father and son in conversation.

Toddlers Babbling

A Ted Talk with Dr. Fitzpatrick

Dr. Brenda Fitzgerald is leveraging the simple practice of talking to babies and toddlers to nourish their brains and set them up for better performance in school and life.

Roberta

I will be hosting an on-line parenting course in the near future. To make sure you don’t miss it – Sign up to receive my email updates.  Contact Me

As always, email me with any questions.  Roberta@RobertaMacdonald.com

 

16 Parent Tips on Fear

16 Parent Tips on Fear

by | Aug 19, 2019 | Fear, Parent Success, Parenting Tips

16 Parenting Tips on Fear

A Fearful Parent….A Fearful Child!

Your home needs to be a safe place for your children,
who may view the world as a fearful place.

It is my firm belief that fear is the opposite of love. The sixteen Parenting Tips on Fear below are intended for you to first notice where fear may be showing up in the life of your child. Second, once noticed, you can begin taking action to reduce the amount of fear your child experiences in their daily lives.

  1. A parent may model a fearful attitude toward life which is picked up by the child. The parent may be overly fearful because of past traumas.  As a therapist, I have seen children who were overly fearful and, on meeting the parents, saw how the unintentional modeling affected the children.  Fear, then, becomes a family issue.
  2. If there is a lot of anger, resentment or depression, and other dysfunctional issues in the family, unresolved fears from the past could be the reason for these issues.
  3. Underneath upset is:  anger, jealousy, resentment, revenge, deep disappointment and/or depression. Fear is underlying these emotions.  Fear is underneath the upset and causing the negative behavior.
  4. Fear of the unknown, fear of not being in control or being controlled, fear of change, fear of criticism, and fear of being vulnerable or weak are some of the underlying fears.
  5. Fear may cause the child to act out with bad behavior. Parents need to find out what is causing the fear. After discovering what is causing the fear, it may take many positive discussions to help your child let go of the fear.  If the fear was caused by a trauma, a good therapist may need to assist with the deeper fear issue.
  6. Your child fears what he or she does not understand. A small child needs to be reassured and patiently taught to let go of unrealistic fears, such as a monster under his or her bed. Your child needs to trust in the adults who have his or her best interest in mind.
  7. A child needs to understand that he or she is not alone and can reach out for help when needed. Without these reassurances and explanations fear can cause a child to conjure up and magnify a small worry or fear, creating a scary scenario in his or her mind.
  8. Is having a fearful or protective attitude wrong? It isn’t wrong but if you feel that your world is a fearful one, every thought or decision (or having no decision, no plan) will be colored by this fear.  It is a negative stance in a mostly negative world.
  9. The child needs to have encouragement and positive role models. A child can’t have too many positive role models.
  10. Parents can protect their child without voicing their fears or pointing out what could go wrong. It is good to be cautious and realistic.  However, being overly cautious and fearful can cripple the child’s dreams, ambitions, interests and motivation in creating his or her own life.
  11. What if the child has low self-esteem and is afraid to try anything new because of being fearful? It may take patient work but building your child’s self-esteem will help him or her be stronger and less fearful of rejection and ridicule.
  12. Help your child to recognize that he or she has inner strengths, personal power, and courage.  Help your child find small successful ways to tap into their skills and talents.  Often the child does not believe he can do something and chooses not even to try.
  13. If you are an encouraging parent you will help the child be successful in small ways so that larger steps can be taken later.
  14. Your child may be fearful that something will happen to his or her parents. He or she may be dwelling on the fear of death of the parents, or their own death. If this is the case, be careful what you say because kids often think literally.  Listen and reassure them.
  15. My mother was afraid of deep water and would say when we would go swimming in the public swimming pool: “Don’t drown”. Those words have been with me all these years and it  affected me.  As an adult I have always stayed in the safe end of the pool, never venturing into the deep water.  I made sure not to voice my fear of deep water around my children and they don’t have my fear.
  16. As protective parents, we always want our child to be safe when they enter the outside world that is often filled with difficult, dangerous and uncertain events and activities. Your home needs to be a safe haven for your children when they return every day. However, for those children who may view the world as fearful, they may stay longer in their home than is healthy for their well-being and development.  They may not want to leave for fear of the outside world.

Activity:
Choose up to 5 of these tips to focus on this week. Consider journaling your thoughts and feelings. Let me know how you are doing. Let me know your thoughts in the Parent Success Facebook Group.

I will be hosting an on-line parenting course in the near future. To make sure you don’t miss it – Sign up to receive my email updates.  Contact Me

As always, email me with any questions.  Roberta@RobertaMacdonald.com

To Your Parenting Success
Roberta

Would you like these 16 tips in a downloadable pdf? Click here:  Download 16 Parenting Tips on Fear

Up Coming Class:
Calming Down –  A Daily Life Management Course
This course is a guided group discussion on how to gain a better understanding of the causes of anger and how to develop a less reactive, stressful way of life.

My Book: Parent Success: 99 Ways to Make It Happen, was written and used in many parent classes in the greater Seattle area for over 30 years. Roberta wrote the Parent Success book so that parents who are burdened with many parenting challenges and unexpected stressors will have a simple daily guide.

Get your copy through Amazon by clicking this link  Parent Success: 99 Ways to Make It Happen

Parent Tips – Manners

Parent Tips – Manners

by | Aug 15, 2019 | Manners, Parent Success, Parenting Tips

5 Parenting Tips on Manners

Let’s Bring Manners Back!

Whatever happened to manners?
Somewhere along the line, manners got shoved aside, and now we’re paying for it.

Depending on the age of your child, instilling manners may be easier said than done. For young children, they easily learn by example. For older children they may already have a few “bad habits”. I will take a different motivation to have them implement a change in their behavior.

Take a look at these five parenting tips on manners and notice if there are any changes you can make in your life and theirs to bring manners back!

  1. Manners used to be important…what happened?
  • Anyone can act in a disrespectful way
  • Many children, teens, and adults were never modeled manners
  • Often disrespect was part of their upbringing
  • It is such a loving gift to teach manners, which is love and respect
  1. Why are manners important to teach?
  • Manners show that each person, no matter their age, is important
  • When manners are not learned, all relationships are affected.
  • When manners are not learned, misunderstanding happens.
  • Unhappy and dysfunctional relationships are the results of not learning manners.
  • Lack of manners can create wars.
  • Manners = Respect
  1. Little puppies go to “manners school”. Why shouldn’t little kids go to “manners school”?
  • When a child has not been taught how to be appropriate in life, it is similar to a young dog who, in his exuberance for his new life, behaves badly. The puppy is not bad, but training is necessary for both.
  • An untrained puppy, as well as an untrained child, can be a real nuisance
  • It is unfortunate if parents are not aware of the importance of early training. The child is being cheated of good training.
  1. How early should parents begin teaching manners?
  • Model good manners at the birth of your first child and continue being a good model.
  • Showing respect will teach respect.
  • You cannot fool a child as he or she knows when an adult is showing respect, or not, as they can feel, see and hear the difference.
  1. Can we be too busy or indifferent to say “please” and “thank you”?
  • Be consistent in being a good role model to your children.
  • Teach your young children to respond with “please” and “thank you”.
  • Your child will thank you later as it is a positive habit that will serve then well as an adult.
  • When a child is resentful and does not show respect and thanks when a gift is given, the gift should be denied.
  • A child who acts with disrespect may not fully understand the consequences of his or her behavior.
  • The child will learn later in life that his or her behavior has unhappy consequences.
  • It is a delight to be around a child (and a puppy) with good manners.

Activity:
Choose several of these tips to focus on this week. Consider journaling your thoughts and feelings. Let me know how you are doing as you implement the changes.

I will be hosting an on-line parenting course in the near future. To make sure you don’t miss it – Sign up to receive my email updates.  Contact Me

As always, email me with any questions.  Roberta@RobertaMacdonald.com

To Your Parenting Success
Roberta

Class:
Calming Down –  A Daily Life Management Course
This course is a guided group discussion on how to gain a better understanding of the causes of anger and how to develop a less reactive, stressful way of life.

My Book: Parent Success: 99 Ways to Make It Happen, was written and used in many parent classes in the greater Seattle area for over 30 years. Roberta wrote the Parent Success book so that parents who are burdened with many parenting challenges and unexpected stressors will have a simple daily guide.

Get your copy through Amazon by clicking this link  Parent Success: 99 Ways to Make It Happen

Parent Tips – Divorce

Parent Tips – Divorce

by | Aug 12, 2019 | Parent Success, Parenting Tips

4 Tips to Help your Child Adjust to Divorce  

Can divorce have a negative effect on my child later in his or her life?

There’s no doubt that a divorce can be a strain on every member of the family. Sometimes it’s tough to look on the bright side and see that it can be the best choice for future happiness.

Children are usually hit the hardest by the divorce. If they’re young, they may not be able to fully grasp the subject. Also, no matter what age they are, their first instinct is generally to blame themselves. The helpful news is that you can do a lot to get your child through this tough time.

4 tips to Help Your Child Adjust to Divorce

  1. If divorce is not discussed with the child, it will be very confusing for him or her. Unanswered questions over the years often have damaging results.
  2. There may be much confusion in the child’s mind when there is abrupt change of schedules and the absence of a parent. If the broken marriage was completely shielded from the child and the marriage seemed happy from the child’s perspective, it adds to the confusion. It will be much harder for the child to understand.
  3. However difficult it may be to explain divorce to the child, it needs to happen as some explanation is better than having a confusing void in the child’s mind. Inappropriate details that are adult in nature can be left until later when the child is older.
  4. Divorce that is not handled in the right manner results in a trauma that can leave lifelong scars.

Like most of us, you have more questions and the problems you are facing do not always have simple solutions. Divorce has a huge impact on everyone involved no matter how careful you may be.

Get more of my personal tips on how to help your children with divorce with this free download.  Parent Tips: Divorce

I answer questions such as:

  1. Should we make a child choose between their mother and father?
  2. Is it possible to have a divorce where everybody “wins”?
  3. What if either of us remarries and the child feels unwanted?
  4. How can I show my child they are still important?

Once you have read through the tips, please leave a comment in this Facebook group. Let us know, have you tried these tips? What strategies have you used that worked well for you? What have you tried that really did not work?

Divorce can certainly throw off your life’s expectations, but it doesn’t have to affect how you raise your children. Remember their needs, too, and you’ll both persevere through this trying time.

If you would like additional information, let me know. I will respond to you personally.

Roberta
Roberta@RobertaMacdonald.com

My Book: Parent Success: 99 Ways to Make It Happen, was written and used in many parent classes in the greater Seattle area for over 30 years. Roberta wrote the Parent Success book so that parents who are burdened with many parenting challenges and unexpected stressors will have a simple daily guide.

Get your copy through Amazon by clicking this link  Parent Success: 99 Ways to Make It Happen

Save Our Words!

Save Our Words!

by | Sep 16, 2019 | ,

I’m addicted.  I am addicted to words. Words need to be true and convey meaning.  I believe we should expand these words into good sentences, paragraphs and books. We need to keep adding to our words so that our vocabularies continue to grow. My concern is:  I believe...

Use Your Words

Use Your Words

by | Sep 10, 2019 | ,

Use Your Words Parents:  Encourage your young children to "Use your words"! A very young child who can’t talk babbles. The child is trying to talk. It is my firm belief we need to talk back with real, understandable words. We may not know how much they comprehend yet...

16 Parent Tips on Fear

16 Parent Tips on Fear

by | Aug 19, 2019 | , ,

16 Parenting Tips on Fear A Fearful Parent….A Fearful Child! Your home needs to be a safe place for your children, who may view the world as a fearful place. It is my firm belief that fear is the opposite of love. The sixteen Parenting Tips on Fear below are intended...

Parent Tips – Manners

Parent Tips – Manners

by | Aug 15, 2019 | , ,

5 Parenting Tips on Manners Let’s Bring Manners Back! Whatever happened to manners? Somewhere along the line, manners got shoved aside, and now we’re paying for it. Depending on the age of your child, instilling manners may be easier said than done. For young...

Parent Tips – Divorce

Parent Tips – Divorce

by | Aug 12, 2019 | ,

4 Tips to Help your Child Adjust to Divorce   Can divorce have a negative effect on my child later in his or her life? There's no doubt that a divorce can be a strain on every member of the family. Sometimes it's tough to look on the bright side and see that it can be...

Calming Down Explained

Calming Down Explained

by | Nov 12, 2018 |

Michelle Obama recently had her book published, titled: “Becoming”.  Several decades ago I wrote my Calming Down book for my class I was teaching at Highline Community College and the first section of the four sections is titled “Becoming”. I feel validated.  Thank...